Valentine's Day Mindfulness

Happy Valentine's Day. Yes, it's another holiday- like Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, it's time to spend money if so inclined.

According to Wikipedia, "there is no evidence of any link between St. Valentine's Day and the rites of the ancient Roman festival, despite many claims by many authors.The celebration of Saint Valentine did not have any romantic connotations until Chaucer's poetry about "Valentines" in the 14th century."

If you don't know the history of Valentine's Day, read this.

Here's a Valentine poem from Poemsource.com. It's a poem for a card, but the sentiment is especially beautiful. Do we need a holiday to show our love and respect for others? Maybe we do need the reminder by way of a holiday.

If Valentine's Day Did Not Exist

If Valentines Day did not exist, No flowers, gifts or cards, We'd search to find another way To send you our regards.

We must communicate to you Appreciation and respect, Hoping our heartfelt message Has a warm and good effect.

But Valentine's Day is here again, So we send this poem to say: You're extraordinary, special, rare; Happy Valentine's Day!

- Joanna Fuchs

The Mindful Valentine's Day suggestions below appeared in the February 2014 issue of Mindful magazine.

Here are a few ways to say “I love you” during this heart-stamped month that don’t require a credit card.

Listen—really listen—to your partner. That means giving them your openminded, genuinely interested attention, according to mindful communication experts Hope Martin and David Rome. Take the time to fully absorb what they’re saying. Body language, word choice, tone of voice—you’ll be amazed at what you may have been missing.

Offer your full presence when you’re together. Don’t look at your phone. Resist the usual complaining about work. Slipping onto autopilot—a you-do this/ I-do-that dynamic—is no fun and can erode any relationship, says Marsha Lucas, a neuropsychologist and the author of Rewire Your Brain for Love.

Value the little things your partner does for you—and do some in return. Relationship coach Josh Wise suggests that couples take it a step further: discuss the kindnesses you receive and how that makes you feel.

Empathy. It’s a necessary ingredient for healthier relationships of all kinds. According to psychologist Ronald Siegel in The Mindfulness Solution, “When we can actually be with someone and empathize with his or her experience, even when it’s painful, the relationship deepens.”

Peace.